“TOLERANCE”

honorable people say “write about yourself, write those things which affects & affected your subconscious and your very pure psyche,  and people who see your painting or stand in front of your paintings will somehow understand your paintings which contain different dimensions, which contains distortion nudefigures,faces,eyes,hand,feet,fantasy,realism,symbolism,surrealism,bright colors,lines,pain,subconscious fluidity and metaphysical things in story telling form”.  I am explaining in short what happened and people after knowing I have restarted paintings are doing which is now affecting my subconscious and paintings as well. Why you all people do not understand my paintings. These are not complicated ones, which I am able to do, and I do not know what you all want to understand. I do not want to talk about my past but why everyone wants to know about it?

So many things happened when I broke my silence by starting paintings after long and precious 23 years. I never wanted to or did not want to speak my past to anyone and no one talked about it to me for last 23 years because of my unusual personality but my paintings broke the silence. Silence has really great powers and tolerance makes you acceptable and shines your feelings and knowledge and gives you grand opportunity to observe them… And on the other hand, it also gives others the opportunity to be what they are in their originality. My father used to say genius, remember this “If someone do not understand your silence they will not understand your words. Never lose your originality and purity in original for anyone, no one is bigger than your soul I know who you are because GOD knows who you are and no one is going to give anything to you because you are full and dribbling, so don’t waste what you have give it to others. Expand your knowledge which purifies heart and mind… Observe everything, analyze, correlate the feelings and do not judge anything and anyone… They will prove themselves.

So many zombies from my past arose from their graves and started swarming around my paintings and me & as usual never understood me and my paintings but had courage to discuss their past in apologetic manner, in their distorted form, miles away from the truth, under fear that now something is going to happen.. Oh dear believe me, my paintings have only broken my silence… not my originality… I want to tell them if you speak truth, you have to talk less and it looks less noisy… I have written everything about me in short in the beginning of my website… Who ever had courage and slight aura of guilt talked with me and who had not discussed it with my Daisy… my daisy had heard everything for years previously and tolerated it in the name of her love for me, but now she started crumpling even under my protection from everything. This started hurting me because they were distorting truth with their denials, saying I forget and I don’t remember what and when a particular event happened. When so many people know everything related with me, then is there any need for denials? Everyone wanted to know why I stopped paintings & it is on my website… a concealed simple truth for last 2 years. Our subconscious does so many things without reasoning and I have done so many things consciously without reasoning but I ask you “Does faith need reasoning or logics”? My soul is my mirror and mirrors do not hurt me believe me, I believe in GOD.

Things happened in early 2009… The people who know me in my second life after 1985 who cared and loved me start asking, “Have you forgiven them”? Because my paintings gave those zombies who created all this mess in my life, the opportunity to talk to me, which I never gave them before… They all need answers and I don’t want to hurt them again so I am explaining.

They talked but do not know the meaning of words they used. I ask them what you call memory, do you know the difference between delusion and illusions. Do you know what is obsession, what is temperament, recall, fantasy, false instinct, guilt and sorry? Do you know the difference between I forget and I do not remember..? Is there any difference between recall and remembrance..? Do you feel emotions, of course if you know the meaning of it, have you ever felt the feeling..? No you do not.

The present knowledge of past in real time and place is your memory, delusion is a belief that is firmly held despite objective evidence contrary to it and illusion is an appearance that is not real…  Obsession is a persistent idea or desire that is recognized as being more or less irrational or immoral by the person to whom it continually occurs.  Emotional traits of personality displayed by an individual are called temperament and recall is the form of memory in which a previous experience is remembered and what is satisfaction of motives in the imagination; sure it is fantasy…

It is our innate, unlearned unchangeable behavioral response to the normal environmental stimulus which is called instinct. Behavioral response is changed in false instinct.  Stirred up or disturbed state of mind, when our feelings become intense and excited are called Emotions. Do you know what a feeling is? Feeling, feel, do you feel, emotions are just opposite to instincts or is the core of instinct.  What we call our capacity to sense… Senses we feel by our sense organs, physical or nonphysical, what we call our emotional susceptibilities, atmosphere, sensitivity, notion our vague awareness, it is capacity to feel or sense is our feelings.

Don’t you think by forgetting we mean the failure to recall and recognize ideas…? It is weakening of bonds that are formed in learning. What do you mean learning is? Do you know whatsoever is in our memory is already happened and you people call it past. I don’t live in past but I can remember if someone provokes me, after all memories are memories…

To bring back into one’s thought, keep in memory, to not forget is the meaning of remember. Don’t you think there is difference in forgetting and do not remember? I say it is not possible to forget anything which is in our memory but it is true we can forget to remember.

What is common in these interlocked, interconnecting descriptive words? It is the feel. It is the feeling. Have you ever felt the feeling of silence of Maya (The matter)? Depth of knowledge? Have you ever felt the vibrations of real and apparent world? Vibration of your soul & body and others? Have you ever sensed vibrations of Maya? Have you ever sensed time and place? Have you ever felt the vibrations of belief, sensed appearances, desires, emotional stimulus? Sensed the vibrations of our mind, real and apparent? Have you even sensed feeling? Have you ever felt any thing for others except yourself? Have you ever observed others? Have you ever listened to someone? Do you know about conscience and subconscious? A sailor must know the way of world. You can make me regret for my words spoken but how can you make me regret for what you understood of that. Your tongue swore but not mind, believe me, several excuses are less convincing than a genuine one. You all have given me so much poison which is running in my veins and if someone bites me, I doubt about the person’s survival and my tolerance is the major cause for my survival.

“IF YOU WANT TO SAY TO SOMEONE ‘ I LOVE YOU ‘…..MEANS YOU WANT TO REMOVE YOUR CLOTHS ‘…..SAINT YAVI’

“DIAMONDS IN MY CROWN”

PLEASE DON’T COMMENT EVEN IF YOU ARE FEELING (TO DIE TO) COMMENT, NOW ON 25 / 10 /2016 ……I AM GOING TO REMEMBER THE NAMES OF PEOPLE ON SOCIAL MEDIA… WHO CALLED AND STAMPED ME LIKE I AM REALLY A COWERD AND CHAKKA (EUNUCH)……( THEY DON’T KNOW THAT I HAD TO SAY SORRY TO SOMEONE FOR MY FORGIVENESS (AFTER 25 YEARS),   NOW I AM GOING TO REMEMBER YOUR NAME AND YOU JUST REMEMBER MY THIS PHOTO  ……They (MY CLASSMATES BOTH FEMALE AND MALE)..Called me (on record)

ON SOCIAL MEDIA..LIKE…yavishthaart.com  (my website)….Facebook, whats App and websites where my thoughts and paintings are displayed

·        ALCOHOLIC

·        ADDICT

·        WOMENISER

·        CYNIC

·        PSYCHOTIC

·        NUDIST

·        ILL-MANNERED

·        NARCISSISTIC

·        VOYEURISTIC

·        SADIST

·        FETISH

·        PERVERT

·        PERVERT & NUDE PAINTINGS

·        YOU MAKE ME UNCOMFORTABLE

·        BECAUSE OF YOU I COULD NOT MARRY S######

·        BECAUSE YOU DID NOT MARRY ME SO MY LIFE IS…###

·        BECAUSE OF YOU THIS HAPPENED..

·        ABNORMAL

·        UNHEALTHY

·        DEPRAVED

·        DISTORTED

·        IMMORAL

·        EVIL

·        WICKED

·        HEARTLESS

·        MERCILESS

·        PITILESS

·        DRINKER

·        PISS ARTIST

·        GIGOLO

·        HEART-BROKER

·        CHUTIA

·        PIMP

·        M.C, B.C (MOTHER FUCKER, SISTER FUCKER)

·        Kabhi mil to batauu

·        LECHER

       YOUR OLD FLAME, YOUR EX,YOUR LOVE,

·        THESE ARE JUST FEW WORDS NOT THE STORIES AND WHAT NOT ON PHONE….HOLY SHIT…….

·        AND I KEPT MY SILENCE SINCE 1991……….AND WHEN IN YOUR GROUP ROCK AGAIN 85 WHEN THEY STAMPED ME “BOB”…THINKING AND CALLING ME COWERD ( THE EXACT WORD WAS “CHHAKKA” & “CHHUTIYA”) AND ON PHONE BLAMING ME WITH ISSUES RELATED WITH BLOSSOM AND NEERAJ AND THEMSELVES,……..I JUST BROKE …BROKE AFTER 25 YEARS…..25 YEARS WITH ALL THIS HOROUNDES SLUTTY BLAMES AND FILTHY , ROTTEN SHIT …………..AND THESE TITLES AND DREAMY STORIES ABOUT ME………

·        I ASK YOU AND YOU AND YOU ALL …..HAVE YOU EVER OR ANYBODY WHOM SO EVER YOU KNOW (SAW OR) SEEN ME TALKING OR EVEN SAYING HELLO TO ANY… ANY GIRL OR ANY MALE ( except ,siddarth,alani and tarachand in medical college, ..Whom I thought are my friends )IN OUR CLASS OR ANYWHERE…… 

ii        I NOW CONSIDER THESE TITLES YOU ALL HAVE GIVEN ME AS “DIAMONDS IN MY CROWN” AND NOW I AM SHARPENING MY DIAMOND KNIFE WITH THESE DIAMONDS FOR YOU ALL………..JUST WAIT FOR ME……..

“DREAM” AND “REALITY”

WOW ONE MORE POEM ……..FOR/ON/WITH…. MY PAINTING “DREAM”…….NOW UNDERSTAND THE REAL MEANING OF SURREALISM……..THE TITLE OF MY PAINTING IS “DREAM” … AND THE TITLE OF THE POEM IS .. “REALITY”….BY Mr.JOHN CHAMBERS…..

“DREAM” ( OIL ON CANVAS) 48 X 36 inches

“REALITY”

The five senses are misleading and deceiving
Used to decipher between reality and dreaming
Bound to this earthly plane by gravity
The mind’s perception is the only reality

In the moment, a dream is real
Until the waking state is revealed
But that didn’t stop the emotions
That didn’t stop the roller coaster
That didn’t stop the fears from turning to tears
Or the smiles from stretching miles
In the moment.

In the waking state, consciousness is regained
Reality is its name
Or the name we give it…
It seems to paint a more realistic depiction
Until death is revealed…
In the moment physical life was real
Now it’s a memory…
Just like the dream

We all know we will die
That doesn’t stop the emotions
That doesn’t stop the roller coaster
That doesn’t stop the fears from turning to tears
Or the smiles from stretching miles

In the moment.

-Jon Chambers